Plain Me Thats All

been some time since i blog anyway...wat can i say blessing to be in 8to5 yet a terrible thing so yeah... enjoy work here with my new frenz and some from my bmt...total joke and nonsense real fun man but work is work... back on road...work was rather tough at time and easy too depends and varies...kinda injured myself here n there...came home and baked cookies cooked etc really enjoy cooking...learn some stuffs and all rather fun...for now using instant mix ingredients but soon down to the actual ingredients etc...too wanna learn my driving and all soon add on see wat im really interested in and work on it. Anyway just gave up things here and there too... life isnt really that great or nice for me too bad or good also gotta say good...i think i wont be able to continue as security or wat so ever...asking me to pray and all again its like freaking hard...been wondering things here and there that i cant figure out... maybe i just stayed on cos of friendship i guess thats all... when i see those stayed on for like 5 6 years or even 10 or more im like wow salute man my target was 2 and go onto 4 and 8 and more later on but now i dont know... am just i am and nothing much... been blessing some people round me too...they should know who are they...a secret kept between me and the other party... few more surprises are gg out real soon i guess or at most by dec during christmas or a double present... when i see myself in the mirror im like WTH!! whos this... unfit, cant take challenges anymore, cant do anything good, worthless, weak, cant study, aint smart talented or even good in anything, only just lazing around, slacking doing nothing. such a coward useless and worthless person... thats why i dont even use a mirror to dress up or watever shit...only when comes to dance but sad to say i cant... some1 said not to give up dance and carry on find the thing in me but i failed cos now i cant even dance at all... i didnt dare to keep promises or watso ever now cos im scared i cant make it and break it...i hate breaking promises and all so just kept myself away from it... Dreams shattered gone just me myself and I... even too had a bad dream that my whole family got into car accident only left me and my dad anytime was going away only matter of time...the rest gone... woke up and first word i said is FUCK!...suddenly i felt so dark...all around me was empty... i tend to feel im more in the dark most of the time then in light, soon and now i dont even scared of dark anymore but instead am use to it that anything lurking in the dark or wat so ever i wont even care but let it be...i feel rather say in dark then in light...i hate the bright sun shine...give me a shady cloudy weather with cooling breeze and all...

x.J.x

changed8:30 PM,
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