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illusion is my blog why? cos this is the answer...i've been in it for a long time and now im awake...in a confused state...wanna say sry to those who have been praying vv hard for me...those who really care loads for me...krist is one of em...sry i broke ur promise...wanna cry out and lift my burden to the lord but to no avil...chosen the narrow way but wat is there to confirm that im walking...its v tough and tiring...im very tired and down...wanna cry my hearts out but cant shouting? i wanna do that but no voice...tears are flowing in my heart even though im laughing on the outside....the feeling is like so fucked...im weak YES I AM!!! SO WHAT!!! my body is a gonner who cares...strength and all GONE!!! i aint good in anything....i feel so so so down...went out from POP till now non stop chillin and all...really made me think...where am i going and all...CG SVC MINISTRY ARMY HOME BROS GRANDPARENTS AND OTHERS so many and time? what do i have...in army its alr exhausted myself out big time like never before...BB said if he can do it i sure can...Do see things differently and all i did all in the end wat i get is injury...and lots more...been thinking lots and lots....i do not deserve to get water bap. i do not...am just another "street wondering" kid happy? NATO thats me...i dont beat myself around but guess wat that real see it and ya know it...i feel nothing from HIM AT ALL!!! I WANNA TALK TO U SO BADLY BUT WHERE ARE YOU!!!! the only song now that made tear flow from my eye was rainbow(in chinese) on the bus...thats all...GOD!!! i changed for the worst...dont see me as an example at all cos i only bring shock to u thats all... 1 close fren going off soon...been "takin care" of me and all big time thanks loads ya...no words can describe it...really felt blessed and loved by ya...when ya gone take care aite...will be waiting to always hear good news and all from ya... ok back again after a short notice for my fren... been hanging out with my close frenz recently and enjoyed their company...talked loads and all having fun...etc thanks for them man...made my block leave time filling...GOD!!!! where are you...i know i am changing worst bad and all but yet i really do wanna get closer to u more then ever i wanna clear all and get back to u...talk to me like never before please...faithless ya faithful, weak strenght, poor blessed, blah blah blah lots more in my mind always reminding myself but still...side tracked...i dont know what to do...i dare not look forward for backwards now...all i dare to see is nothing... news reporter events that happen 11- bbq and all meet yz yan mel nette and came home drank 12- meet yz shopping and went off for cg movie kungfu panda and "breakfast" "supper" till 5 13- went out as usual got a cam and all and watched movie with my cousins sex and the city 14- went for doc and rushd down for svc after svc fellowship at t3 and meet bb yz yan mel nette at home for movie 15- visit my grandparent and all and meet the grp at night for holland V came home drank 16- went for physio and my body got "reset" now became weak and useless...went to sentosa tan and went accompany for lesson... went meet up with rika vince and walter as its rika bdae... 17- went out with van for hogs breath walked around saw KH hahaha super funny how we met (walking) (stare like someone seen b4 but stranger) (nearer) (he waved and smile) me: OH KH!!! HIHI!!! he: HI!!! hahahaha me: oh no forgotten ya...hahaha eh didnt go with yz and all for the trip? he: hahaha no lah got things on me:oh so going where now he: going o school me: oh pract? he: no lah gg for movie me: oh? with? he: gin meeting her at o sch so yeah me: ok then bye he: bye thats the convo something like that...rather funny and comical...and van was saying he face kinda emo emo kia...LOL!!! took mrt to town, met long jerold and benson talked quite alot and they all changed...lol yeah wish to meet up with them more often...and went walking etc and came home...ate dinner alone and went off to see my granddad as he fell down landing on his full back so yeah...and came home again to rest...he's feelin ok now anyway... had a fren kinda lost in space too wondering round...his feelings are like mine no words to say and all...down even though events everyday but still...his is like mine totally yeah...18 19 20 21 22....these few days left out in human world...in trance now...and this is wat i see... changed9:06 PM, 0 comments |
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