Plain Me Thats All

been sometime i did blog alr...this time round its a small arguement but it lasted for 2 days w/o talking and all...or even 3 days already just feel that its only matter of time its really time to have a big arguement again as usual been very patient and all to my parents for very long time already...things which i should not know been told to me and really i dont know whats wrong adults will say u guys dont need care so much its adults thing and yet they still tell us WTF!!! they know the problem and yet didnt solve or do anything just gong gong stand there only and listen too my grandparents there have some probs too and i dunno to be happy to know whats going on in the "inside" or what so ever too many things happening at the same time but still gotta hang on...rather kinda been missing out in cg fellowshipping with the member and all after service when i serve finish i gotta rush to grandparents house and cant fellowship with the whole big cg then normal days not all are there during cg some missing some gotta go off early and all and when im not serving im not in church didnt really listen much of the word and all lately for the past few months...didnt each much each meal too...suddenly 2 impt proj came in and its so last min with all the tests and exams...indeed i welcome it big time so i can really put and push myself further...serving to me is still like serving and nothing more just feel its like just like this kinda thingy...missed today dance's lesson again as usual...excitedly wanna go for open class but didnt in the end...but still can save money though since now on tight budget hahaha...ok i dunno wat to say alr things suddenly got stuck in my mind now...too kinda gave up in somethings alr and really im just HIYA FORGET IT!!! im really tired and felt its unfair etc so just GIVEUP!!! took a week and yeah...been blasting sounds in my room from night till dawn aint wanna have a silent night at home or have a feeling of alone at home as its usually the case no matter whos at home the house is so FREAKING DEAD!!! tried talking to my mum and always no more then 5 min convo will end why? lead to arguements and all and im 100% avoiding it etc and she will just spark it and scold me again by picking up the past etc etc...kept myself in the room when im at home if im out i will be out whole day i dont really wish to go home much...keep hearing my parents arguin, probs and all its just so!!!! final saying for myself and to myself is GOTTA JUST WALK...WALK LIKE ZOMBIE STILL WALK...DRIED OUT STILL WALK NO MATTER WAT JUST WALK AND DONT EVER FREAKING STOP!!! U STOP U DIE!!! FALL DOWN? STAND UP AGAIN AND WALK!!!....been tellin myself to move on and move on cos i believe my cg members needs help in certain areas and all and i gotta help too my grandparents too now is having alot of things and probs i gotta really take care of them even if it cost me 101% of myself cos no matter wat they are the one that really dote on me alot can be equal to my parents or even better...even if i fall i gotta quickly stand up cos of my grandparents...anyway its time to get back to my work cant blog anymore when free shall come in again...

x.J.x

changed7:55 PM,
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