Plain Me Thats All

ok back to bogging...been really sick till now my cough still not ok but still ate as per "normal" i guess...cough still rather bad and ran outta medicine...didnt wanna go back see doc cos its expensive saving money for dance and all yup...feeling very uneasy...cant eat alot of things...ok few days back till now been wondering bout my dance what is it ment by a crew and many more...saw W.C.O coming to sg feel like taking up their class but cant no $$ and suddenly a voice hit on me real hard saying "are u really that good enough that u r able to catch their moves,seh and all?" "are u really that good to be in a crew?" and when i was expecting to stop it hit me again " ARE YOU EVEN GOOD ENOUGH OR HAVE THE PASSION TO JOIN PROJ O? WHAT ARE U AFTER ACTUALLY...TEACH PEOPLE TO DANCE? FOR MONEY? FOR FAME AND ALL? OR FOR JUST PURE HELP AND PASSION...AND AGAIN ARE YOU EVEN FIT TO DANCE?" i just lay on my bed in silence...since im sick i cantdo anything so just lay on bed for days stuck in my room...soon im rather "well" and went back to sch and all went to see other people dance and it really disturbs me...there are so many talents and others out there what am i in dance...just a nobody actually...voices keep hitting me tell me things....during cg all was enjoying but part of me isnt cos of problems and all...why is it everytime i can just "enjoy" things gotta pop up and spoil everything am i really unable to enjoy?...tried my best to even pray and all but still no use...i felt so weak and all...PROJ O? think i wont be able to get in im just a kid with dreams but with nothing at all...problems stood up and i really dont know what to do im lost...suppose to meet BB later but dont think so can co aint feeling v well and just took my med gotta rest early and go svc tmr and settle thing and to PM...i really feel v tired now...and still my grandpa still in hospital after a small operation today...now all upside down i dunno what to do began to think twice bout myself bout my feelings and all thinking not even twice but thrice bout this bout that am i just lying to myself bout this bout that or is it for real i really wanna know whats real and fake...hiding in my ow room feel so tied up so not me but what can i do...nothing...going off now dont feel like tying more...

x.J.x

changed9:30 PM,
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