Plain Me Thats All

yeah back for more blogging...slept real little woke up for breakfast mac and went to play arcade...yeah glad fun was in enjoyed too...won an alarm clock yup...excitment really made me feel tired yeah...went to lavender but stalls werent open went back for yoshi yup...then bbtea...went over to dance but in the end just took some rest...really felt tired rush down to oschool for dance and was rather late hahaha...saw mar on the bus...yeah did push ups and kruchers or wat ever that is...suddenly things just said u cant do it at all u r lousy weakling...do 25-30 instead of 40 full...krunches miss only like 1 or 2...man didnt really concentrate on dance today total disaster..."u cant even dance look at you ugly movements,fat and unable to move fast,miss counts,WEAK no strength,see u r unable to use your strength all your moves are so soft like jelly so ugly..." just buang all the way through class really total sianneded or wat ever...tmr got POS and man its like cheerleading dance or stunts and again "u cant do any of em...stunts u cant even flip...dance are u really up to that standard? do u know how to do cheer dance?" went home and as usual got scolded by my mother am home at 1030!!! and guess wat earliest for past 1 week and i got freaking scolded..."see your mum scolded u for no reason "flash back back in pri sch got scolded during chinese new year for no reason and no sorry was said or wat so ever" and now again sunday if u gg out early or what again scoldings...competition and svc clashes dont go for both leave svc alone and for competition are u really up to the style and standard? look u r just nothing there are better out there then u r who u think u r gg to win this everything with u in it or doing it will sure be waste of time barely scrape through everything or even nothing at all and so just forget it." all happened so fast i just dont know how to react or what..aint wanna get smacked down so easily like always...

3/4/07

UPdate...

doing my portfolio and i dont even know what am i doing for im a gone case kid a 1 pointer who will wanna have a 1 pointer worker....like what people have seen me...doing things 1/2 way and quit...(in chinese=3 min hot degree) nothing to say...im just a 1 pointer, bad at drawing and all what more does the sch want from me...wasting money only....am i really going nuts believing a God which i cant see or feel, i began to doubt myself for quite sometime am i in chc just for the sake of staying and all or really for God...Once i ask God give me a heart that follows u,give me a better mind, change my way of thinking instead of asking for this and that becomes to something bout relationship with God and me aint wanna have a "relationship" and all but i really wanna love but still didnt happen nothing at all...sometimes i even cried asking myself WHY and all questions Why this why that even in my sleep mayb i should just be like what others said give up man, 1/2 way quit its what u usually do and all just go ahead just do it....haizz im really blur and tired now...forget it man im really tired bout typing alr...too many things...

3/4/07

x.J.x

changed11:47 PM,
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