Plain Me Thats All

yeah back to posting again...a boring day today...woke up tot im able to go out n get my shirts and shoes yup....waiting till afternoon meeting up...yeah but in the end not....ger slept till 5 plus then gwendo said mayb some others times....yeah so stuck myself at home but still ok lah did some searching in my own room thinkin n thinkin n thinkint...WTF flashers came back and worst...brining back bad memo...really hate it...the feelin is back after keeping it real tight in a bottle....the feelin of just empty...especially at home...yeah had a great mom dad sis frenz cuz and relatives but still the feel is missing...as if its a perfect house but with no funitures...my heart was being curshed by a paper weight why? cos something is missing and i really feel it...as if now yes all are at home but still the feel aint there...and there is something missing still i aint know wats that and i wanna find out removing the pain in me once n for all i aint wanan feel hurt anymore starting i thought its all over but it came back...started dancing a little and felt alot more happier getting little tired and stop the feeling came back...i asked myself why i picked up dancing...is it just a passion or just a route to escape from reality but i found out that i really like dancing not cos of meeting new people, loosing weight and others and NOT ESCAPING FROM REALITY but just pure loving it...i really love dancing but i cant dance that good still haizz...tears started rolling down a lil from my eyes when i rest...took a long bath stood in the bath room standing there for mins relaxing not thinking bout anything but cant...came out from shower and started blogging now still having that heavy and uneasy feelin....sometimes i really doubt myself bout my life and others...i ask god why he gonna put me thru these things but i cant hear his voice wats da use...prayed asking god to help me out help my frenz out praying....just now few mins again vette ask me whether i gg to svc this week i tell her most prob i gg i guess cos im really not sure whether im against or for christ...sometimes i really do wonder and suspect it real bad...many thoughts are rushing thru my mind now...shall stop here for now...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzJRNeLCTPI

x.J.x

changed6:59 PM,
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